We were given the opportunity several weeks ago to talk to a mom's group at church - two groups, actually. We shared about the ministry of Glory Babies, some statistics about loss and infertility, common misperceptions, and ways to help.
As always when we share with new-to-us groups, there were a number of women in the room who fought back tears. It left us wondering if they had experienced a loss and if so, whether or not they had shared that with anyone, especially anyone at their table.
Even after all the progress that has been made over the last ten or so years, we as a culture still shy away from talking about miscarriage, infant loss, stillbirth, and infertility, including secondary infertility. I remember my mom telling me about a time she was explaining about Glory Babies to her aunt, who was in her 70s. The aunt became teary-eyed and held up three fingers, indicating that she had lost three babies to miscarriage. My mom had never known, and she considered herself to be pretty close to this aunt. It would not surprise me if most of the family did not know about the precious babies they never met.
In some ways, social media, and the internet in general, has made it easier to talk about and find support during the loss of babies. We can post an update, share someone else's article, or participate in online groups, retaining a degree of privacy as we sit behind a screen in the comfort of our own homes. We don't have to worry as much about the immediate reaction someone might have after receiving the news that we've experienced a loss.
At the same time, we lose the therapeutic face to face connection, physical hugs, and gift of attention when we don't share about our losses in person. Many times people hear "me too" after sharing about a loss. One person choosing painful vulnerability and authenticity can quickly lead to many others revealing their own journey down the same or similar road.
We encourage you to reach out and share your stories with others. Be prepared for some to react negatively, for others to dismiss your pain, and for a few to think it's crazy to grieve such a small person. Keep sharing! We pray you will find "your people" who will walk with you through this difficult time and who you might even in turn help down their own journey.
