Wednesday, June 18, 2008


There are many verses in the Bible that speak to us in times of loss - verses that we identify with, verses that bring hope or encouragement, verses that remind us of important truths. Here is a place for everyone to share the specific verses that have ministered to them. Please be sure to include the reference, and which version you're typing. If you'd like to include a few sentences about how the verse helped you, that would be great as well!


This is a place for you to write memorials, letters, etc. for the baby/babies you have lost. It can be as simple as listing the name(s) or as long as you'd like.

Ideas for Closure

First, let me say that just because you do something for closure, you're not necessarily "over" the loss. The sadness, memories, etc. can and likely will continue for a long time. (However, if you find that the sadness IS over for you, that's fine too - it's different for everyone.) This post is for ideas of things people can do to remember their babies. List your ideas, whether or not you've tried them yourself. If you have a picture of what you have done, we would love to see that here as well. Let the creative juices flow!

Friday, June 6, 2008


This a place for our prayer partners to use to pray over this ministry and specifically over the women they are praying for (but please don't use names!).

What is your story?

Everyone's story of loss is different; even two seemingly identical stories can be experienced in very different ways. What is your story? When did you lose your baby or babies? How did you feel?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

When others move on

I had a long conversation today with a friend who recently lost her mother to cancer. I called to see how she was doing, not knowing what to expect, or even if I would reach her. Part of me didn't want to call - what if she was having a really good day and bringing up her mom would bring her sadness? What if I would say the wrong thing? Yet I knew from my own experience that it is far better to take the risk and reach out than it is to play it safe. We need others to acknowledge our losses, even months or years down the road. As she talked, I could tell that her mom is on her mind frequently, and that she has been doing everything she can to process through all of the changes that have taken place in her life over the past few years. She mentioned feeling alone, not knowing others her age who have weathered similar situations. She said sometimes she wishes a friend of her mom's would call just to say they were thinking of her mom that day too. In the final months of her mom's illness, countless friends were in and out, stopping by to visit or asking how they could help. While that was a wonderful support, it needed to continue after her mom's death. It needs to continue even today. Yes, life goes on. Yes, the pain is far less for most everyone besides my friend and her immediate family. Yes, it has slowly become easier - but it is still hard. And it probably always will be hard. She wasn't complaining as she shared these things with me; she was very aware of the things God has been doing and continues to do in her life. She is thankful for many things that have happened. But at the same time she still needs support and encouragement. I post this story even though it is not directly about miscarriage to illustrate the point that we must consciously choose to reach out again and again to those who have lost loved ones. Their pain is real, whether or not we acknowledge it or give them space to be real. We cannot fix the pain or remove it entirely, but by simply remembering and validating feelings, we can be the hands, feet, and ears of Jesus as He heals their hearts day by day.

Lyrics to Bring the Rain by Mercy Me

Mercy Me
Bring The Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Lyrics to Glory Baby by Watermark

Glory Baby, You slipped away
As fast as we could say baby, baby
You were growing, what happened Dear,
You disappeared on us baby, baby

Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you Until we're home with you

We miss you everyday, miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you, we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
*We can't wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you*
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing

All things work together for our good
And God works his purposes
Just like he said he would, just like he said he would


I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know


How this ministry began

In the summer of 2006, my husband and I were very excited to learn that we were going to have a baby. It was not long, however, before that excitement was replaced with grief as the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was not at all prepared to deal with the huge range of emotions that followed. It seemed that I didn’t really have anyone to walk with me through that season. While I didn’t know exactly what I wanted or needed from another person, I knew that I felt very alone, and very sad.

As people learned of our loss, they offered well-intentioned words. However, instead of bringing comfort, many of those words seemed to dismiss my pain, sadness, anger, despair, guilt, and doubt. I felt as though I was expected to move on, be thankful for what I had, view the loss as a blessing in disguise, and simply “trust God.” Many of the comments had truth in them, but they were not offered in the right way or at the right time. I think that is often the case with other losses as well; in general, we are uncomfortable seeing people in pain, and we seek to say or do something to alleviate their pain -- and our discomfort. Looking back, I see that I needed a hug, time to process through the loss, permission to grieve and ask hard questions, and the grace to doubt God and have ugly days.

I understand that it is difficult for people to support a person through a miscarriage, in part because they never met the baby who died, never held him or her, never had a personal connection similar to what they may have had with others who pass away. Often there is not a body to bury, nor any rituals to carry out that we associate with death. Yet the loss is the same. Many people do not realize that as many as 1 in 4 women experience miscarriage. There is a great need for support. Out of my experience, as well as the experiences of many others who have graciously shared their stories, a new ministry has begun.

Glory Babies is a new ministry, here to partner with women who experience miscarriage. We don’t pretend to have all the answers; we are here to pray, listen, support, encourage, and walk with women on their journey toward healing. We have a wonderful group of women who are available and ready to meet with women one on one, talk on the phone, or email. We also have a precious group of women who pray for each pair of partners.

The pain of miscarriage can last for a long time, especially for women who never felt the freedom to truly grieve, or who did not have a sense of closure after the loss. Glory Babies is here for anyone, whether the loss was very recent or many years ago. Already we have found that women feel a sense of relief when they are given the opportunity to talk about their loss and how it impacted them – to know that they are not alone, not crazy, and not wrong for how they feel. While the focus of this ministry is on women, we acknowledge that men are also impacted by miscarriage, and in time we plan to expand the ministry to include things that would be beneficial for them.

Please pray for this new ministry. Pray that we will have wisdom as we talk with women. Pray that women will find strength in the Lord and not believe the lies of the enemy. Pray that we will continue to find partners who have a heart for this ministry.